garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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