Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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