Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
