I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize