she smelled like a LAN party
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
