Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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