the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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