All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
