Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Randomize