does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize