I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Randomize
