Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
