is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
