Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
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