Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.