It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet