Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Randomize
Follow @tfln