Betty ford says i'm here all night
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.