just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
