k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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