Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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