I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
