Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i would punch a child for taco bell
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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