Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I just gift wrapped bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize