So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
