First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
