U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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