i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
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Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
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Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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