she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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