great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
