Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Randomize