to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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