Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
