: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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