Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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