There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
