I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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