a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
