shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
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