just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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