That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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