what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
