If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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