If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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