My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
