did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
