Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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