hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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