I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Im part way to drunk.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
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