I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
