Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
