At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
im holly from the hills drunk
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
