We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
