I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
