go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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