she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
