My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Just cropdusted the office
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Randomize
